Why rewrite one sentence at a time
Some sentences carry more weight than others: the first line of an email, a headline, the opening of a proposal or the call to action on a page. Small changes there make a big difference, and seeing several versions side by side is the fastest way to find the right one.
Seven ways to improve a sentence
- Put the subject and verb up front. "After reviewing the numbers from last quarter, our team decided to cut prices" becomes "We cut prices after reviewing last quarter's numbers."
- Replace weak verb phrases. "Make an improvement" becomes "improve". "Give consideration to" becomes "consider".
- Cut empty words. Very, really, actually, basically and just rarely add meaning.
- Remove hedges when you are sure. "We think this might help" becomes "This helps" if you have evidence.
- Make it concrete. "Solutions that meet your needs" says little. "Payroll software for teams of 5 to 50" says what you do.
- Use the active voice. "Mistakes were made" hides who made them. "We made a mistake" is honest and clear.
- Split long sentences. If a sentence has more than one main idea, give each its own sentence.
Picking the right style
- Clearer for instructions, help content and anything people must act on.
- Shorter for subject lines, headlines, captions and buttons.
- More formal for applications, legal or academic writing and first contact with a client.
- More casual for social posts, newsletters and team chats.
- More persuasive for sales emails and landing pages, leading with what the reader gains.
- More confident for proposals and bios where hedging undersells you.
A quick test
Read your chosen version aloud. If you would not say it to a person across the table, keep editing.